Productive, but Not Entirely Successful

Despite an excellent start early on with ticking one major item – The Book – off my goal list that had been held over from the previous week and getting some exercise in the form of walking as well, the fact remains that I still have no meringues for you.

I’m sorry.

In addition to Saturday’s rhubarb crumble, I did make some dairy-free banana ice cream using coconut milk and a pear-strawberry galette over the weekend, all of which were incredibly delicious. My husband even went so far as to say that it was the best strawberry-rhubarb anything he’s ever tasted, no small praise considering he’s a flavour snob of the highest order and that has been one of his favourites since he was a child. It’s not like I wasn’t busy. But again, they are not meringues.

Maybe it’s my miserable macaron-making experience that’s holding me back. Meringues are far less fickle than the macaron but they still depend on a certain lack of humidity in order to rise successfully. And it has certainly been humid. So it would be fair to reason that on a subconscious level I’m protecting myself from inevitable failure of the meringue by not even trying. But therein lies another problem – there has always been that layer of consciousness. And it’s less protective than it is preventative, in that before I even start a task I will have convinced myself that it will fail, and so I simply don’t bother. And that was the point of this whole exercise to begin with: establish weekly goals with a view to breaking my more unhealthy patterns. It doesn’t mean that I can state a specific goal, such as make those damn meringues, and then when I don’t achieve it I try to supplement it by making anything or everything else. That’s not how this works. So, to put it simply, what I need to do now is just shut up and make the meringues already.

And there you have it: while this weekend was productive in that I made a whole bunch of yummy things, it wasn’t successful because I did not make the one thing I had set out to. But in this case I would say that not being successful isn’t the same as failure, because another outcome has emerged: I’ve identified another important pattern of behaviour that needs to be put to an end.

Who knew that some fluffy bits of egg white and sugar could lead to this level of self-discovery?

PS: I have the eggs on the kitchen counter, just waiting to come to room temperature. And the mixer stands by their side at the ready. Fingers crossed

Progress Report

So, I am happy to report that out of the three goals established last week Sunday, the only one I have left to tackle is those infernal Martha Stewart meringues. If I can find a pic of them I’ll post it, so you can see how clearly non-terrifying they are. Hopefully I will be able to put that one to rest by Saturday.

I have begun work on the other two on my list, but they are definitely a work in progress. Although it would appear that the meringue ranks highest in terms of intimidation because I’m a wuss when it comes to beating egg whites until they form soft peaks that hold their shape, the most emotionally difficult one to get started on was The Book. But, surprisingly, it’s the one goal that has me the most motivated to continue plugging away. The exercise is…far less so. But I have been doing more walking this week, and the other day I managed to raise my heart rate by running up and down one of the small sets of stairs in my house for a few minutes. The dog was looking at me like I’d finally lost it once she’d figured out that it was not a game I was playing for her amusement and it wasn’t going to lead to her ultimate destination of late – outside. But there is more that needs to be done than the increase in walking vs car-driving and the stair cardio. I need to include some light weights in there and start committing to a routine before claiming any real sense of victory. But at least it’s a step in the right direction.

And there are technically two more days left in the week. A lot can happen in two days.

I shall keep you posted.